Friday, 23 June 2017

From Hoping to Coping…

Last week, we were in a position of not knowing if our baby was alive or dead – a scan had shown a heartbeat, but further bleeding had convinced medical professionals that a miscarriage was imminent. How do you continue with everyday life when such a dark cloud is hanging over your head?


I suppose we chose to deal with the situation by hoping for the best possible outcome, regardless of the evidence pointing in the other direction. Even though there had been further bleeding, it was very short lived and had disappeared entirely within a couple of hours – completely unlike my last miscarriage. Pregnancy symptoms were still manifesting themselves daily and we’d eventually managed to convince ourselves that everything was fine.
 
Unfortunately, it wasn’t…
 
We arrived at the hospital for a scan bang on the 9 week mark, but were informed that our baby was measuring at just under 8 weeks and that there was no hearbeat… Once again, I’d been carrying around a dead baby for over a week!
 
We now needed to shift our focus from ‘hoping’ to ‘coping’.
 
With this happening for the third time in a row, we have now been referred to a recurrent miscarriage specialist, but that comes with the added torment of having to wait a further 6 to 8 weeks for the initial consultation. When you then take into account the waiting time for test results etc, we are faced with putting our baby plans on the back burner until we have answers. That may seem simple to many people, but when your only desire is to expand your family, it feels like you are facing an eternity of waiting with no end in sight.
 
In order to aid my own coping mechanisms, my blog has been a welcome respite for venting my feelings and emotions, but it doesn’t allow Paul any relief of his own – instead, he has created a family vlog as a place to speak about his own experiences, in the hope that it allows him to achieve his own sense of peace.
 
So, I’m pleased to announce that Tiggy Poes vlog is finally a thing! You can find a link to the YouTube channel here!
 
This will very much be Paul’s brainchild, but I’m hoping it can be a way of getting the whole family more involved with the blogging/vlogging world. If any of you are interested in taking a further look into our family life, I’d love it if you had a wee wander over. While it has started out as a way of easing the pain of miscarriage I hope it will also allow us to chronicle much happier events in the months and years to come.
 
As it stands just now, we are looking after each other and trying to see the positives in every situation. Sharing a candlelit bath while toasting to our future has served us well this evening, and I’m hoping the vlog now helps us to find other joyful moments to share with each other.
 
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6 comments

  1. Oh gosh I am so sorry sweetheart! What an awful time you must be having. I hope you get some answers as to why this keeps happening. As always sending some rainbow 🌈 dust xx

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    1. Thanks so much for the well wishes! I think we will probably give it a break for the rest of the year now, neither of us are sure how much more loss we can put up with...

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  2. I am so sorry! Sending love and hugs! xx

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    1. Thanks Kim, I can't wait for it all to be over...

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  3. i am just so sorry honey, i can't even say i feel your pain of 3 miscarriages, i just pray you are fine and soon you are blessed with what you want.

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    1. Thanks Chichi, me too! I'm back to work tomorrow and I'm really nervous about how I'm going to feel when I see everyone again :/

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